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Flexible Consistency: Combining Contrasting Values


I nearly skipped writing this week’s put up on my blog.

It used to be a tricky week at work. And I best likely managed to hit my work targets for the week by pulling in extra hours on Saturday.

Exhausted, I was racking my brains on what might maybe well additionally smooth I write about.

Within the weekly notify brainstorm call with the DelightChat tribe on Friday, there enjoy been just a few skill issues I talked about – Ask tedious questions, Existence is now not a zero sum sport, Generalist vs Specialist – none of them flowed out of me admire it does a week.

How I write on my blog

You glimpse, every weekend when I take a seat the total system down to jot down, the total writeup dazzling kinda flows in a single staunch circulate of thoughts.

A monologue however on paper.

However more importantly, what permits that to happen is that irrespective of I write about every weekend is a subject subject that naturally came up in my lifestyles – in my thoughts, readings, conversations with pals, with team members, with my co-founder, my female friend, or family members.

And since I’d had lived and long passed by the meat of the subject already, writing it down would feel natural and simple.

This week when I tried to jot down on a number of the issues mentioned above, I felt stuck.

Truthfully, what I wrote after an hour of applied effort learn admire gibberish.

I told Sankalp that I’m now not obvious I’ll be ready to jot down the relaxation factual this weekend, and his respond used to be – “The weekly notify writing is alleged to be therapeutic and stress-free. It’s now not alleged to be one thing you are forced to full.”

He used to be upright, the motive of this whole exercise is to unlock our thoughts, learnings, tips from our minds onto paper and then to the total world. And feel sizable in the process. I wasn’t feeling sizable.

However then my respond to Sankalp used to be – “I discontinue are looking out to jot down one thing. So I could devote 2 hours to it and write the newsletter early morning. Keeping the consistency is very valuable to me.”


A few years in the past, I was the create of particular person that would enjoy a string of habits, strict (and exhaustive) morning routines, a diary where I was checking off whether I conducted my habits every day, you win the image.

And if I ever overlooked a day or two of my habits or routines, my whole routine would spoil down.

My habits and routines were now not anti-fragile, and I knew that used to be an space.

The sport changer for me used to be over a lengthy dialog one evening, over just a few drinks, with my pal Sandesh. He explained to me that I’m being too disturbing on myself, and that my system has a single point of failure which drags me down every time I hit it. I cannot let lacking a day or two of routine breakdown the total routine.

“So how discontinue you discontinue it?”, I asked.

“I’m flexible”, he acknowledged.

Sandesh went on to relate how he stumbled on this flaw in strict routines and rituals, and therefore came up with weekly targets – discontinue X task Y events this week.

For instance – exercise 4 events this week, irrespective of which days and at which events.

It’s alright to leave out 3 days in the week, it’s alright if he didn’t drag every morning to the gymnasium, he can drag in the evening, he can skip that day. As lengthy as he went 4 events per week (and even 3), he used to be factual.

Consistency with flexibility

There enjoy been fireworks in my thoughts. Introduce flexibility into my inflexible and consistent routine?

Flexibility and consistency are contrasting values, but it used to be the easy and evident technique to my subject.

Although earlier I’d be fantastic if I conducted a dependancy 5 out of 7 events in per week, it used to be my mindset that indispensable a replace.

As an different of seeing the 2 events I overlooked as a failure and being down about it, what if I accounted for failure in the routine? What if I embraced failure?

It used to be a easy replace in mindset – from “form a dependancy 5 events per week” to “you are allowed to fail upto 2 events per week”.

Hold room for failure, in order that when it does ultimately happen, it would now not space you support.

Right here’s reflected in the dependancy tracker app that I created, where there’s a column for ‘Purpose’, ‘Achieved’ and a remaining column that says ‘Yay’ or ‘Nay’ if you crossed the aim. If the aim used to be to meditate 20 events a month, you win 10 potentialities to fail.

That eases off so valuable stress from the thoughts and permits for serendipity to think over.

Consistency and suppleness are contrasting values. But combining them increases your potentialities of success, and helps you foster higher mental health.

Matters come organically

Over a 2 hour dialog that incessantly went too deep into philosophy (we couldn’t support it because it used to be so valuable stress-free) with Siddharth and Rahul who host The Indian Dream podcast, when the subject of keeping ourselves healthy all the scheme by the events of Covid-19 came up, we talked about flexible consistency.

We talked about the importance of having a routine, but being form sufficient to ourselves to permit room for failure. These are tricky events and no-one used to be ready for this upfront.

I was reminiscing this dialog final night time whereas speaking to Mausumi, my female friend, pondering that I could skip writing the relaxation this weekend and that it’s okay.

I went on to relate the idea that of flexible consistency to her, a phrase coined by Anne-Laure in her blog. I borrowed her phrase because it sounds and reads system cooler than how I primitive to train it earlier – “Consistency with flexibility”.

That’s when it struck each and each of us at the identical time.

I’d learned my subject for the week.

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